I've missed you tremendously and didn't even know it until now. I wish I had 17 hours to devote to you and let you in on the life that is mine right now but thats not happening tonight because I like my sleep more than you. I do promise to spend more time with you as I do need you in my life. Like right now as my husband is on the phone arguing with me about the kids going to dancing school (which he knew about) and its 9pm and I'm eating my dinner.. which is a blueberry poptart. I am what some would like to call.. "a hot mess" of a Mama at this point and I NEED to let this out. I'm going to start with this list of things that I no longer want to do, but probably will....
I no longer want to :
Find important things where they don't belong.
Make amends for problems other than my own.
Apologize for YOUR stupidity.
Be a fat ass.
Not sleep enough.
Go to bed angry.
Make it work when it clearly isn't working.
Pretend it's funny.
Cook 5 different meals for dinner.
Not use my talents for good (or evil).
Be the brave one.
"Fall back".
You shouldn't have to try to make certain things happen. If they don't come naturally then you probably shouldn't be doing them.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
D.B. B.D.
Really?... How could your myspace profile say ... "I don't want kids" when you were a sperm donor for the smartest, most beautiful, loving, kind, perfect little angel girl ever! She is SO blessed to have a REAL father who loves her unconditionally and so much more better off without your loser ass family and your pathetic ass self. I'm so glad I fucked you over as you did me. I just can't help but think what she will want to know about you when she is older and I have nothing nice to say about your scummy ass you disgusting fuck!
Honey you are a rock Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk I hope you understand
That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you
I came here with a load And it feels so much lighter,
now Ive met you
And honey you should know,
that I could never go on without you
Green eyes
Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know
That green eyes,
youre the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who tried to deny you
must be out of their mind
Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter,
since I met you
Honey you should know,
that I could never go on without you
Green eyes Green eyes
Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
All this time
I've always contemplated this bullshit and so now, I've decided to throw myself into it and get stinky with the rest of you.
I can't even explain how much frustration will end up being thrown on here but I do know that whoever is reading this will probably enjoy many moments. This is just a very small opening to what will turn out to be a giant hole unfilled. I always said I would write a book one day. About the goings on of my so called life <--- I need those dvds. There is WAY too much to just throw it all out there at once but I guess I could begin with today.
Today is the first day of the rest of 2009. This month always end me metaphorically and literally. It will be my birthday, my husbands, his 2 brothers, my stepdads, and my mothers which is on christmas day. yes she always gets the shaft. Today is when I bring my Peachy to school and decide whether I actually want to be motivated enough to take a shower but have to wait until my Pumpkin and Monkey are entertained. I have no desire today. No patience either. I want to leave as early as possible in 5 days to take a 4hour trip to see a great friend I've never even met and spend a beautiful day with 2 beautiful women and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen ever!
Today I will already have bags packed and things set to go for this trip and yet, my dirty dishes will still be in the sink, and laundry in the dryer, also some in a basket that needs to be folded, and a husband who has waited to the absolute very last second to bring in paperwork for new insurance that we very much need, is still in bed procrastinating per usual...
Today will be "one of those" days just like any other.
Except today I let someone else in.
I can't even explain how much frustration will end up being thrown on here but I do know that whoever is reading this will probably enjoy many moments. This is just a very small opening to what will turn out to be a giant hole unfilled. I always said I would write a book one day. About the goings on of my so called life <--- I need those dvds. There is WAY too much to just throw it all out there at once but I guess I could begin with today.
Today is the first day of the rest of 2009. This month always end me metaphorically and literally. It will be my birthday, my husbands, his 2 brothers, my stepdads, and my mothers which is on christmas day. yes she always gets the shaft. Today is when I bring my Peachy to school and decide whether I actually want to be motivated enough to take a shower but have to wait until my Pumpkin and Monkey are entertained. I have no desire today. No patience either. I want to leave as early as possible in 5 days to take a 4hour trip to see a great friend I've never even met and spend a beautiful day with 2 beautiful women and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen ever!
Today I will already have bags packed and things set to go for this trip and yet, my dirty dishes will still be in the sink, and laundry in the dryer, also some in a basket that needs to be folded, and a husband who has waited to the absolute very last second to bring in paperwork for new insurance that we very much need, is still in bed procrastinating per usual...
Today will be "one of those" days just like any other.
Except today I let someone else in.
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